There’s a tension I’ve been finding myself living in that I’ve been wrestling these last few days.
I like to wear many hats. What does that even mean?
The phrase literally means having different roles or tasks to perform. But shouldn’t I stick to one role? I am only one person. How can I have so many different callings or desires? Am I really being true to myself with all of these desires? How can the same person who wants to see One Direction in concert also want to help lead and equip women into the people God created them to be? Does that even make sense? How can we have so many joys in life? Is that okay? How am I being true to myself if I feel like I’m being 4 different people in one day? One moment I’m having a great time with the Lord, hearing a lot of great insights and the next I am with a group of people talking about what happened at work or school. It’s not that I don’t care about knowing what happened at work or school, but I just had an awesome conversation with the creator and that’s what I want to talk about. How do you balance all of these hats?
These are all questions I’ve been thinking about. A wise woman (my mother) told me this piece of advice that is incredibly true: give yourself permission to be you. Through that I’ve discovered that it is okay to be a Jesus-lover, music junkie, student, teacher, Cards fan, children’s minister, lover of home renovations, advocate for women in ministry and missions, etc. The reason I know this is okay is by looking at the characteristics and qualities of our God.
The same God who is a warrior is also joyful. The same God who is creative is also incorruptible. There are so many qualities of God. He is unchanging but always new. If the creator of the universe can have these different qualities with his people, then so can I.
This newfound revelation does not mean that I will stop living in the tension, but it helps knowing that I can just be me. It’s okay for me to have so many different passions, desires, or responsibilities. As long as I am loving people in the process and pointing back to greatness of the Jesus, it’s okay to wear to many hats. I’m incredibly aware that I am very different than most 21-year-olds, that’s okay. There’s a reason I have all these desires. And that’s okay, as long as I am true to those. I don’t want to morph into somebody I don’t want to be. That may mean losing friends, losing things I thought I wanted, etc. But that’s part of growing up. I am still figuring out who I am, what I like, which people I vibe with, what I want to do, etc. Regardless of if I’m 21 or 81, being me is the realest thing I can leave on this earth while I am here.
How do you deal with all the hats you have? Please share!