With weddings happening all summer, it’s no surprise that marriage is a pretty fresh thing on my mind. Every wedding I went to this summer was fantastic in their own special way. I absolutely love being apart of this day, seeing two people come together in the name of God is incredible to me and models perfectly the way Christ married to the Church.
Even though this one day is so beautiful, it saddens me to think about the reality of marriage these days in our culture. When I stop and think about it, the sanctity of marriage is diminished more and more frequently. If I’m honest, I have my own fears about marriage. I recently heard about 3 couples who got divorced/separated because their spouses had been cheating on them throughout the whole marriage. WHAT?! Why does this freaking happen?? Why do people care more about their “needs” that they don’t even stop to think about how this might affect the one they’ve supposedly committed their life to. I seriously just don’t get it.
Obviously, people don’t walk into a relationship with the intent of cheating. So where do we fall? When do we cross that line? I can’t imagine the feeling when you find out someone who has been in your life for years has been cheating on you with someone(s) else the whole time. At what point do you realize that in your vows you said FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE.
Marriage isn’t a joke, a game, or a love fest 24/7. It’s a serious freaking commitment. You have to be willing to take chances and risks with each other but you also have to be willing to grow and change. You WILL change. They WILL change. It’s inevitable. But does that mean you split up just because the person you married is now suddenly “different”. I think not. Talk about the differences, communicate your needs but don’t smother each other. It’s always give & take. You have to take the good with the bad. It’s what you signed up for, isn’t it?
DISCLAIMER: marriage is not the wedding day, honeymoon, or constant PDA all the time. Don’t get me wrong, those seasons of a relationship are sweet and most definitely needed. Chemistry is important. But marriage is the everyday. It’s eating breakfast together, praying with each other each morning, going to work and coming home to share in each other’s days’. It’s quitting your job because your spouse got a promotion and has to move to Texas. It’s loving the in-laws even when they are so incredibly different from your own family. It’s sticking together when you find out your child has a terminal illness. I could go on for days. Ultimately, people are so messy. Lives are messy, you can’t have expectations, you have to go with the flow and constantly forgive each other. You have to have grace & mercy in your lives.
So why does marriage still scare me? Things always start off normal, but there seems to be a lull in the relationship where couples get bored of each other. I don’t want my husband to find something/someone else for what needs I can’t give him. THAT SCARES ME. Christian or not, people are still selfish and do whatever they want to get whatever “feeling” they think they need.
I know all of these things but I hope & pray that whoever I end up with, I actually end up with. Not just temporarily spend a few years together. I want to be with someone who has these same beliefs as me & sees life from this lens as well. All I can do is wait & expect that God is going to bring me someone who truly gets me down to the core of my soul and will stay committed to me through EVERY season of my life. I’m making the vow now that I most definitely will stay committed to him.