Today, I spent nearly an hour looking through old pictures. I went all the way back to the beginning of senior year of high school. Every once and while I like to look back and remember who I was back then. It’s amazing to see how much I’ve changed over the course of 3 years. Honestly, it’s crazy to think how much I’ve changed in ONE year.
But as I was looking through those pictures, I couldn’t help but think how much I never really liked pictures of me from high school. I went along with taking them because all my friends loved doing it. There was one point in time that I loved taking pictures all the time, but as I’ve gotten older it just doesn’t suit me like it does for other people. I look around at any social media site and people are constantly taking pictures whether it be #SelfieSunday #TransformationTuesday or #ThrowbackThursday. It seems that we find so much value in a picture. I find myself frustrated with how much we put our lives out there in the snap of a picture.
Now, don’t get me wrong, some pictures are absolutely timeless and worth the shot. Like a mother holding her firstborn for the first time, a man and wife on their wedding day, a family whose child graduated from high school, etc. All those moments are perfect for capturing the moment of something that you want to remember. Those moments are touching.
I’m just gonna be totally honest. Maybe my problem isn’t the picture, but it’s how I view myself. We all judge ourselves a lot harsher than other people do, but I can’t help but think that maybe I don’t like pictures because I don’t want to remember myself looking the way that I do. It’s frustrating to think of yourself in one way but when a picture is taken, I see something totally different. As SOON as I look at a picture of me, I find absolutely everything wrong with it as I can. I ask myself why I feel one way but look another. Man, what a sad reaction.
I had to take myself away from Instagram because I felt too much pressure when looking at other people’s pictures. I got really sad and depressed when I saw how beautiful everyone was all the time or how great their life must be. That’s not how Christ called us to live. He never wanted us to live in bondage by earthly things or people. He wants us to live in HIS freedom. But how do we do that on the daily? That’s where it gets difficult. Handing over our fears and frustrations daily seems nearly impossible. And there are days when I don’t do it.
But then I read verses like Psalm 137: 8-11, “8 He covers the sky with clouds; he supplies the earth with rain and makes grass grow on the hills. 9 He provides food for the cattle and for the young ravens when they call. 10 His pleasure is not in the strength of the horse, nor his delight in the legs of a man; 11 the Lord delights in those who fear him, who put their hope in his unfailing love.” I don’t know about you, but verses 10-11 make me look to God and say, “Oh, right. That’s what you want from me.” He doesn’t care how pretty we are or how much time we put into our homework or even how much we work out. I LOVE our God! He loves to comfort his people when we feel overwhelmed or frustrated with life.
We are always looking for ways to please man and make ourselves look good, but God delights in those who fear and put their hope in him. That should be my number one priority above all else. That’s my prayer today, father. Let me be pleasing to you, not by what I do but by who I am. I am a daughter of the most high king!